Teacher Ms Thomas, thank you, oh beautiful one!!

Yo.. I still remember the first hint of adolescent insanity, us.. the students of grade(class) TEN were longing for the next class. It was after all the Physics class; it was currently after all the Math class.

The difference ?? – You ask – is monumental, it’s the difference between spinach and caramel, headache pill and ice cream. It was Ms Princy Thomas and Mr Xavier.

At age 16 would you rather have a beautiful – even Angel-like- one Ms Thomas teach you or Mr Xavier?? Well, is it even close?? Well was it even a contest. Sorry Mr Xavier we are guys after all.

TTRRRRRIIINNNG TTRRRIINNGG..

God damn Yes.. Holy golden goose Yes.. My mother India Yes.. It was the long awaited bell.. The BELL…. The heavens have heard us, the GODS have heard us, there is good on this earth, there is a SUPERPOWER after all, it hears us afterall!! There is justice afterall, there is good in life afterall, there is an Angel after all..

Life is good, GOD is great, I love spinach and I like homework, I like authority and I love to sleep by 10 pm, I wont play and I will study.. YES.. vows taken, rewards EARNED, here it comes…

Out goes Mr. Xavier and in comes Ms Thomas.

Now, if we at 16 and 17 were smart enough to know we were doing a not-so-recommended routine.. I Believe our Ms Thomas knew it.. I mean, how could have she not known.

She is like the perfect class TEN teacher.. Good enough to teach you Physics and well, great enough to keep knocking you in your dreams..

“How can you.. how on earth can you, are u out of your mind”.. a few pseudo-good kids would scream once in a while in your ears.. but hey, what’s rain off the back of a pitbull.. NOTHING right.. yeah who cares..??

I mean memories… are fresh.. from the time of romancing our best prospect in our class to getting your brains beat figuring the spellings of TAMIL language words.. it was a fun ride.. to put it mildly..

How I have changed.. how we have changed.. how life has changed.. how Ms Thomas has changed..

Ms Thomas was an alluring figure because of her bright face and delicious disposition, she knew what we craved for.. she knew it was immaturity, she worked us.. she is not the stereotype PLAYBOY story girl-teacher we read about. She was, a teacher, she knew that.

She also would get the best out of us, the rewards would include a 5 minute talk after class with her, how can you NOT WORK hard when you have that reward??

Coz, I did, I worked my rear off, I worked and I got rewarded, it was adolescence and she played it and she played it in away that would benefit us.

In times like the 2006 when we see reports and stories of how teachers elope or down right get privy with students, I just remember Ms Thomas.

Coz she played us too, we were adolescents too but we both were better off for it.

Thanks Ms Thomas, u r a special one.

24/7 Customer Service: A friday RUINED

Yo… Friday morning. Literally whistling and bench-warming through the work day, I get an email.. it read “ XXXCredit Card Update”

It sounded bogus from the subject itself, I looked in, it said there was an issue with my account and I need to reset the details. I put the mouse on the “supposed card link”.. it was redirecting to Me to “a German based website”.. the last time I got anywhere close to Germany was when I watched the World Cup finals..

So, I think .. I assumed fairly right when I had zero chance to get a german based card or for all of a sudden for this company to move its HeadQuarters and all business links to germany..

Some thing smelled fishy.. it was Friday after all, and I decided to call my actual card company- the single most stupidest thing I have committed all year since yesterday –

The following is a raw transcript of one of the best exchanges I had with the customer service center..

Me : “ XXXCard support.. look I got an email today, giving Me bogus info and asking Me to update my records. I think I suspect this email. But, still I want to know if you were aware of any such emails circulated or if this email was indeed sent by your company”

BPO Girl : “ yes Sir, we can do that to you”
Me : “do what”
BPO Girl : verify Sir..”
Me: “Ok”
Girl : “ Sir, I understand ur tension and ur predicament, in this time of pain I can help u with a 30 day pgm, that monitors all traffic from tomorrow for ZERO penny”

Me : “ I know about that pgm, I am not interested in it, tell me about this email”
Girl : its ZERO penny sir, ZERO penny, its no cost.
Me : "look.. i am not calling u to sign up.. i need to know if my account is alrite"
Girl : "sir.. u can sign up on 30 day trial"
Me : "look ma'm i know about ur wonderful program, i have seen it before, but just tell me if u guys sent me this email or not"

Girl : " thats why sir we have this pgm.. it will monitor from now"
Me : " what about that email.. today morning"
Girl : "this 30 day will help u'
Me : "thank you.. u were of lot of help.. brilliant"
Girl : "sir.. we have other pgms.."

Me : "u have lots of programs.. i just need information.. not programs for future”
Girl : "i understand Sir.. u r concerned"
Me : " i am very much concerned.. and u r not gettting Me my info"
Girl : " sir for that this program'
Me : " enuf with the pgm"
Me : " can u tell Me if this email is legit"
Girl : "sir.. we can help u monitor everyday"
Me : " i am notorious for not unsubscribing after 30 days and u charge Me

Girl : “dont wry sir.. if u remember and call us in 30 days.. its free"
Me : " i think i just said.. i forget those things"
Girl : "sir, its a good pgm"
Me : "indeed it is.. an excellent one.. and thats y i dont want it" "thank u so much.. for a wonderful assistance"
Girl : "sir if u want we have another pgm.. we see ur account has low balance transfer" "u can transfer to us"
Me : “ i have good cards" "everyone has good rates" "i am comfortable with what i have now" "i dont need anything else"
Girl : "sir.. this is a 2% transfer"
Me : "yes madam.. it is.. i got that", "i did not call u to sign into any of these"
Girl : "sir try 30 days"
Me : " i will call u later"
Girl : "sir u already called" "y do u want to wait on the line”
Me : "i donno.. i dont feel like signing up today"
Girl : "sir u spent 5 mins.. 2 more mins for 2 pgms"
Me : '"sounds very impressive" "and i appreciate ur help.. i will call u"
Girl : " u can call Me anytime "
Me : “ I meant I will call citibank"
Girl : “ yes Sir”

Me : "thanks"
Girl : "any thing else"
Me :"no u were wonderful and of great help" "appreciate it a lot"
Girl : "welcome sir" "if u need any other assistance or help u can goto our website or call our 24 hr assistance"

Me : " yes sounds perfect" "thanks BYE"
Me : clunk. Phone disconnected

this is not a fiction or imaginative wonder, it is a real life "you got served"..

High Maintenance, Low-efficiency item: Girl Friend or U

Yo.. I was thinking about getting a car. U know.. the four-wheeled wonder which drains your purse like a cat devouring milk. The surprising thing about this is we are AWARE of what this vehicle does to us financially and yet we are all too happy to get it and get drained.

Well say even if we cop the expense and get one, its very high maintenance.. it needs fuel and loads off it (psst.. I do think if someone had the brains to invent a viable non-oil based vehicle to ride, we wont even have all the dependency on the middle east, that’s a different story altogether). Bottom-line is this baby eats you up and you don’t even realize, I do realize though.. we extract some utility out of it.

My mind wandered (yeah tell me what’s new), I started thinking about other high maintenance items in life. Well, the obvious answer is your girlfriend. Man, they drain the purse and time and energy.

The last one really zaps you, coz when ur energy is outta the window that’s when the pea-brains start working in ur cerebrals under those lousy hair-style

and u assume ur speaking out loud..but not really.. “goddamn woman.. not only are my legs and arms killin me.. I missed my ballgame for ur sake and the past 5 hours running around the mall for your one pair of ear-rings and ur 3 cotton candies and 2 teddy bears .. but u never even opened the purse.. well I guess u did.. U did put the old ear-rings in there..”

Well, honest to God.. if a guy hasn’t been thru that he is blessed and living in mars.. But I hate to drool on the obvious.. so I let my mind wander a bit more.. as I wondered I realized the human body..

Man is there a more painful .. creaky.. cranky.. disobeying unit or body of work other than the flesh and mass that we tuck under our dress.. err NO..

U getup u need to brush (sometimes I wish I get my senses after I brush.. without brushing our mouth smells like it was down by the local garage all nite).. then the obvious downloading.. and then bath.. (I do know a lotta guys love to skip it.. ).. well if u r in living college hostels.. chances are u add more pile of dirt by being in those bathrooms than skipping it.. (see.. now ya know why hostel-ites love to skip bath..)

U get out of the shower…. ur stomach gives u a call.. u fill it up with milk n bread and the day starts rolling.. u travel and ur mind thinks ur stomach is hungry.. so u get the most unhealthy bag of chips available and dump it in ur mouth.. and u need NO incentive to open the mouth when ur dumping tasty-unhealthy food.. only healthy or medicinal foods are rejected by ur mouth..

The day rolls by its noon.. ur stomach calls up again( sometimes even clocks fail to work.. not ur tummy).. u fill it up with either hotel-made high transfat low energy.. sleep inducing outside food or high-colestrol.. loadsa oil.. loadsa sleep inducing home-made food..

Well the choice is ours.. and often we make the worst available.. then we roll over and get some snacks.. and that cant be real healthy.. then we get home.. and all the buncha junk we ate have all been processed and form an extra centimeter around our mid-section now.. Sometimes we guys look bigger than pregnant women..

And the funny thing is we know!! we know it’s only a fleeting thing and once we download it.. we will have the abs of every women’s delite!! funny that is a worse non-starter than anything we can cook up..

Well all this when ur body is supposedly running well.. imagine when ur creaky or cranky or down right sick.. it needs lodsa medicines, loadsa rest and loads a caring.. Of course there are those pharmacies.. which love to service ya.. err read plunder ur money.. when u are unhealthy..

I realized.. all my complaints abt my girlfriend is mute.. the worst nightmare I can conjure is taking care of my body all by myself.. I go.. "Honey.. my sweetie.. are u sure u are done shopping.. why don’t we hit the other mall and find u a pair of slip-ons and couple a more teddy bears and cotton candies.." She "Sweetie are u alrite??".. I "I better be .. coz I don wanna service my body…"