Eyewitness report to Cop:
I saw ‘accused guy #1’ near the statue, he had an axe in his hand and he appeared to be cutting down the nearby tree. Once in a while he stopped and looked around suspiciously, his hands were sweaty, he had a strong forehead… the tree was half cut… I was at the bus stop just across from the statue, I turned around to pick up a political flyer that fell from my purse, a jeep passed by, there were 3 men with sharp objects, another flyer fell from my hand, I stopped and bent to pick it up, the jeep was going, the statue was beheaded, ‘accused guy #1’ was still there with the axe in his hand.
Cop: Look, we found the jeep and the 3 members, they are good people, they are influential people’s kids… I will rearrange some of the details in your report… now confirm to me if it’s the TRUTH… I know where you live…. i can drop you home...
Eyewitness report to Cop:
I saw ‘accused guy #1’ near the statue, he had an axe and sharp objects in his hand and he appeared to be cutting down the nearby tree. His hands were strong, he had a sweaty forehead… the tree was half cut… I was at the bus stop just across from the statue, I turned around to pick up my purse, a jeep passed by, there were 3 men with political flyers, a flyer fell from the jeep's kids hand, he stopped and bent to pick it up, the jeep was still there, the statue was beheaded, ‘accused guy #1’ was going with the axe in his hand, he stopped and looked around suspiciously once in a while.
Cop: Good, that’s better…
Eyewitness: Ji Sab… Can I go home..
Cop: Sure, we may ask you to come back to tell the truth in the court…
Eyewitness: Sure Sab, I will only tell the TRUTH…
TRUTH:
Jeep had 3 politicians’ kids.
Accused guy was day laborer hired to cut down a dead tree.
Statue was beheaded by one of the 3 kids.
Eyewitness was a normal middle age man with 2 kids and depends on monthly salary.
Cop is a middle aged man, indebted to the local punk who has kidnapped his little girl.
Local punk is the man hired by the 3 kids.
One of my favorite quotes “When a volcano erupts with anger, innocent bystanders may get burnt, its not the fault of the volcano or the bystander, timing is sometimes a hell”
What appears to the eye, is not what’s the truth, everyone is under pressure and truth gets fudged to save some and kill some… its unfortunate....
Not everyone is Gandhi but hey even he lied once....
While its sad the ‘accused guy #1’ became a sure shot ‘convicted guy’ you are only normal if you feel for the Cop.
If in the Cop’s shoes you claim you will not fudge the truth, then you are not telling the truth..
Sometimes, innocent bystanders get burnt.. ands that’s sad… but that’s the truh
Note: This is total fiction. Invented by my own overloaded coffee-soaked brain.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Movie Review :: State of Play :: Pragmatic Scare and a Thrilling twist...
The Russell Crowe starrer is one of the better movies to have hit the screens this year. It’s subtle, suspenseful and at times thrilling. The cast is pretty good, with Crowe (Cal McAffrey) donning the lead role of a brusque, burly, veritable investigative journalist. With Helen Mirren (Cameron Lynne) as a hard nosed editor, Rachel McAdams (Della Frye) as a tough cookie blogger, Ben Affleck (Stephen Collins the congressman) as a sinful and now repentant public official and an array of cameos from some lesser names the movie has a good package of talent.
The movie starts off with a thud, when a young lead researcher, Sonia Baker, for an up-and-coming hotshot congressman (Collins) gets apparently murdered. This comes as a jolt to Collins’ professional pursuits and rocking of his personal foundation. The Congressman who leads a group of fellow like-minded colleagues is in the midst of investigating a scandal surrounding a private consultant/security/military/everything firm named ‘Pointcorp’. ‘PointCorp’ is the beneficiary of sizable military/police contracts in the middle-east and are being investigated for malpractice and corruption.
Mcaffrey the lead investigative journalist for ‘Washington Globe’ newspaper captures your eye as a smart, influential and contacts-rich journalist. He seems to have stumbled upon a couple of drive-by murders of a young black youth and a budding pizza entrepreneur. Thanks to a washed-up petty criminal McAffrey finds some interesting material linking Ms Baker and the young black murder-attempt victim. Collins is meanwhile at the eye of the storm as allegations about his extra-marital affairs surface thanks to some nosy publications. Collins, who is under relentless attack from the media tries to get some friendly cover and pays a visit to his pal McAffrey.
Collins confides about his illegal relationship with Ms Baker to McAffrey, but contends she was murdered when everyone seemed to think it was an apparent suicide. A theory about PointCorp’s involvement to marginalize Collins by linking him in a public morality stench evolves. McAffrey agrees to follow the trail of the evidence on Baker’s suicide-murder but tries to console his friend Collins on how to approach the morality onslaught. McAffrey investigates the link between the young black youth, who while recovering at a hospital is murdered, and Baker. As information flows on how the youth came into possession of Ms Baker’s whereabouts emerge, a stronger link between Baker’s and the drive-by murders of the youth and the pizza man emerge.
McAffrey enlists the help of a young and at times cocky blogger Della, they have their moments which draws a few laughter, investigate the 3 murders. As details emerge on Baker’s relationship with Collins and an apparent hitman being employed to kill Baker, the plot thickens. McAffrey keeps Collins apprised of the developments and thanks to some insider help from a whistle-blower in PointCorp, McAffrey is able to track down the hit-man and nearly gets killed. As further evidence comes to light the McAffrey team gets a break when they crack a PR firm hotshot, Dominic Foy, for PointCorp and find out more about Ms Baker. As details emerge about the background of Baker and the real intention of why she got hired by Collins, the whole plot plays out as a setup of Collins for his eventual marginalization in the PointCorp investigation.
McAffrey works tirelessly to pin more evidence and at the same time is under undue pressure to produce some headlines for their struggling newspaper. McAffrey finally seems to have caught a break when Dominic confesses on tape about the knowledge he has on Baker. There still seems to be a missing piece to the whole puzzle as McAffrey works on the finer details and evidence to link Baker’s killing with PointCorp, when he finds out a startling truth, thanks to a thinking mind and an insatiable thirst for honesty and contempt for false-truths. How and what McAffrey finds out while on his pursuit to link the murder and PointCorp is part of a predictable yet thrilling end.
The movie is thrilling and scary in not a gory sense but how pragmatic this whole plot is, the potential for outside forces to influence anything, the real role of journalism and the dire future it faces [Check this entry on Newspaper], the 24/7 tabloidish world and the presence of some real honest investigative reporters. Overall this movie is definitely worth your ticket… B-.
The movie starts off with a thud, when a young lead researcher, Sonia Baker, for an up-and-coming hotshot congressman (Collins) gets apparently murdered. This comes as a jolt to Collins’ professional pursuits and rocking of his personal foundation. The Congressman who leads a group of fellow like-minded colleagues is in the midst of investigating a scandal surrounding a private consultant/security/military/everything firm named ‘Pointcorp’. ‘PointCorp’ is the beneficiary of sizable military/police contracts in the middle-east and are being investigated for malpractice and corruption.
Mcaffrey the lead investigative journalist for ‘Washington Globe’ newspaper captures your eye as a smart, influential and contacts-rich journalist. He seems to have stumbled upon a couple of drive-by murders of a young black youth and a budding pizza entrepreneur. Thanks to a washed-up petty criminal McAffrey finds some interesting material linking Ms Baker and the young black murder-attempt victim. Collins is meanwhile at the eye of the storm as allegations about his extra-marital affairs surface thanks to some nosy publications. Collins, who is under relentless attack from the media tries to get some friendly cover and pays a visit to his pal McAffrey.
Collins confides about his illegal relationship with Ms Baker to McAffrey, but contends she was murdered when everyone seemed to think it was an apparent suicide. A theory about PointCorp’s involvement to marginalize Collins by linking him in a public morality stench evolves. McAffrey agrees to follow the trail of the evidence on Baker’s suicide-murder but tries to console his friend Collins on how to approach the morality onslaught. McAffrey investigates the link between the young black youth, who while recovering at a hospital is murdered, and Baker. As information flows on how the youth came into possession of Ms Baker’s whereabouts emerge, a stronger link between Baker’s and the drive-by murders of the youth and the pizza man emerge.
McAffrey enlists the help of a young and at times cocky blogger Della, they have their moments which draws a few laughter, investigate the 3 murders. As details emerge on Baker’s relationship with Collins and an apparent hitman being employed to kill Baker, the plot thickens. McAffrey keeps Collins apprised of the developments and thanks to some insider help from a whistle-blower in PointCorp, McAffrey is able to track down the hit-man and nearly gets killed. As further evidence comes to light the McAffrey team gets a break when they crack a PR firm hotshot, Dominic Foy, for PointCorp and find out more about Ms Baker. As details emerge about the background of Baker and the real intention of why she got hired by Collins, the whole plot plays out as a setup of Collins for his eventual marginalization in the PointCorp investigation.
McAffrey works tirelessly to pin more evidence and at the same time is under undue pressure to produce some headlines for their struggling newspaper. McAffrey finally seems to have caught a break when Dominic confesses on tape about the knowledge he has on Baker. There still seems to be a missing piece to the whole puzzle as McAffrey works on the finer details and evidence to link Baker’s killing with PointCorp, when he finds out a startling truth, thanks to a thinking mind and an insatiable thirst for honesty and contempt for false-truths. How and what McAffrey finds out while on his pursuit to link the murder and PointCorp is part of a predictable yet thrilling end.
The movie is thrilling and scary in not a gory sense but how pragmatic this whole plot is, the potential for outside forces to influence anything, the real role of journalism and the dire future it faces [Check this entry on Newspaper], the 24/7 tabloidish world and the presence of some real honest investigative reporters. Overall this movie is definitely worth your ticket… B-.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Indian General Election 2009 : The Case for Stability and Term Limits
Once upon a time when steam engines were still the toast of the nation and earning Rs25 a day was cool, there used to be a thing in politics called stability. Life, as we know seemed to have more sense, there wasn’t one incident political or social that could create a domino effect with the force to shake the big green tree at the PM’s office let alone their job safety.
Life, as we know has changed a lot, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, doesn’t matter if its good or bad, as long as they got on NDTV or AajTak and get their gibberish on a loop they have achieved their purpose in life.
As time rolled on, the denizens of our nation have gotten an incredible itch and rage to make “it”. While it has often resulted in producing some wonderful visionaries at the head of some key public and private divisions and companies, it has also created avenues for the not so good folks to expand their roots across the fabric of our country.
When the drafters of the Indian constitution decided to have a cup of tea and talk about the laws and regulations, I am not sure they would have spent much time on the validity of a multi party system, they wouldn’t have deemed it as a luxury, it was a basic right. I for one am too young and too jaded to look up when multi parties started to get prominence in India but certainly not many folks would have expected the instability that would portend from such a luxury.
Over the last several elections in India, if there is one thing that we have come to realize its that the local parties in almost every state have become the king makers of the government in the centre. While we can all sit down and argue till we turn blue in the face arguing about the vagaries and riches of national and regional parties, we cannot be revisionist, we are bounded by the fact that everyone has the power to head a party and they have a voice. While at a fundamental level this is what countries strive for when they fought for freedom, what we have in our hands by virtue of the multi party system is a complicated mess, a conglomerate of spices and sweets that just aint cutting it for the dinner.
We cant say multi-party system and local parties are not worth their salt, that would be counter to what we want to achieve as a free nation, but let us drool on the following stat
From 1989 to 2004, there have been 7 general elections
89, 91, 92, 96, 98, 99, 04
Digest that!!! Now we are a nation of close to billion people, the cost for each general election is gargantuan, the election process consumes so much airtime, resources, money, causes added noise pollution, traffic, goons to knock your door in the name of vote canvassing, its practical stalking every time…
We all need so many things out of our elected officials. All I ask would be stability and limits. Term limits is a necessity, it ensures that there is no one hawk politician running a party and having a dynasty and it also offers opportunities for others, we have various examples at both state and national level where the same candidate keeps getting elected, beyond a point some things grow stale, its true with ideas too. Term limits is a must have. Similarly, if coalition governments are formed the party lending support should assure they will not hold the country siege for every petty issue by threatening to withdraw support.
If there was a law that says all government reigns will be for 5 years and if a coalition government is formed, the supporting party cannot withdraw support and even if they do that will not trigger elections. If supporting parties have a fall out then they can show their disagreements by not supporting for laws, I am tired of repeat elections every 2 years and every street corner party triggering elections by withdrawing support. This does not bode well to the government that is in power or the people whose tax mney go down the drain with each election.
Just imagine the 7 elections between 1989 and 2004, when, there should have been 4. That’s 3 more elections for a nation with 1 billion people, just calculate the cost that entails on the country, so many useful things could have been done with that tax money.
Whether you vote for BJP or Congress or 3rd Front, all we should ask from the winner is that govern judiciously, respect other parties, serve the people and all we should ask the losers is to accept defeat graciously, be a constructive critic and server the best interests of the country, the people you represent and then your party.
Good luck to Advani, Singh and Mayawati, may the best candidate win and lead us to better and sane times ahead. Most world economies piggy back on the American economy and with the stutter that has happened to the US the effects of it are slowly and surely hitting us in India, here's hoping for a clear cut winner this summer and sane and stable government for the next 5 years. Jai Hind !!
Life, as we know has changed a lot, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, doesn’t matter if its good or bad, as long as they got on NDTV or AajTak and get their gibberish on a loop they have achieved their purpose in life.
As time rolled on, the denizens of our nation have gotten an incredible itch and rage to make “it”. While it has often resulted in producing some wonderful visionaries at the head of some key public and private divisions and companies, it has also created avenues for the not so good folks to expand their roots across the fabric of our country.
When the drafters of the Indian constitution decided to have a cup of tea and talk about the laws and regulations, I am not sure they would have spent much time on the validity of a multi party system, they wouldn’t have deemed it as a luxury, it was a basic right. I for one am too young and too jaded to look up when multi parties started to get prominence in India but certainly not many folks would have expected the instability that would portend from such a luxury.
Over the last several elections in India, if there is one thing that we have come to realize its that the local parties in almost every state have become the king makers of the government in the centre. While we can all sit down and argue till we turn blue in the face arguing about the vagaries and riches of national and regional parties, we cannot be revisionist, we are bounded by the fact that everyone has the power to head a party and they have a voice. While at a fundamental level this is what countries strive for when they fought for freedom, what we have in our hands by virtue of the multi party system is a complicated mess, a conglomerate of spices and sweets that just aint cutting it for the dinner.
We cant say multi-party system and local parties are not worth their salt, that would be counter to what we want to achieve as a free nation, but let us drool on the following stat
From 1989 to 2004, there have been 7 general elections
89, 91, 92, 96, 98, 99, 04
Digest that!!! Now we are a nation of close to billion people, the cost for each general election is gargantuan, the election process consumes so much airtime, resources, money, causes added noise pollution, traffic, goons to knock your door in the name of vote canvassing, its practical stalking every time…
We all need so many things out of our elected officials. All I ask would be stability and limits. Term limits is a necessity, it ensures that there is no one hawk politician running a party and having a dynasty and it also offers opportunities for others, we have various examples at both state and national level where the same candidate keeps getting elected, beyond a point some things grow stale, its true with ideas too. Term limits is a must have. Similarly, if coalition governments are formed the party lending support should assure they will not hold the country siege for every petty issue by threatening to withdraw support.
If there was a law that says all government reigns will be for 5 years and if a coalition government is formed, the supporting party cannot withdraw support and even if they do that will not trigger elections. If supporting parties have a fall out then they can show their disagreements by not supporting for laws, I am tired of repeat elections every 2 years and every street corner party triggering elections by withdrawing support. This does not bode well to the government that is in power or the people whose tax mney go down the drain with each election.
Just imagine the 7 elections between 1989 and 2004, when, there should have been 4. That’s 3 more elections for a nation with 1 billion people, just calculate the cost that entails on the country, so many useful things could have been done with that tax money.
Whether you vote for BJP or Congress or 3rd Front, all we should ask from the winner is that govern judiciously, respect other parties, serve the people and all we should ask the losers is to accept defeat graciously, be a constructive critic and server the best interests of the country, the people you represent and then your party.
Good luck to Advani, Singh and Mayawati, may the best candidate win and lead us to better and sane times ahead. Most world economies piggy back on the American economy and with the stutter that has happened to the US the effects of it are slowly and surely hitting us in India, here's hoping for a clear cut winner this summer and sane and stable government for the next 5 years. Jai Hind !!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Utopia :: Indian Politics meets ideal world
It was a crisp summer evening, the soil has been burnt blue by the unrelenting and indifferent rays of the sun, hardly a cool breeze – not surprising as even my telescope couldn’t catch the nearest tree in sight and ad hoardings turning every road into rectangular dungeons – the only respite was that it was about sundown and it could only get better. I was among thousands waiting in line to get into the great hall. Lying beyond those metal detectors are imposing guards and those marauding carnivores raiding for any elements that could harm the evening’s proceedings.
As I wait in the line that meanders around the block to the east and south and west and north, I realize I might be among the lucky ones to witness history. I have earned it though; I went to work early by 2 hours, got some time off by an hour and have been in this imposing place for quite a while. I watched the sun show its wrath for a while and then its beautiful crimson red twilight, a little over 3 hours have passed and unfortunately there were no mobile restrooms or any other respite for us in the lines. Sweat had poured through my once combed hair – and politely can now only be called a shabby mess – I was drenched in my own sweat, on my forehead and neck, some spheres of sweat running down my neck and spine. My hanky could only help me so much as its now a wet wipe, I realized I cannot beat the sun and just better enjoy the tan.
It is easy for a guy like me with normal complexion to enjoy a free tan in the sun as I got not much to lose. For a brief moment I wanted to own the local chat just off the building we were trying to enter. They were having some special business and the astute minded dude reeled in some of the cooler stuff including dahi vada, nimbhu pani, butter milk. The wait was almost over, as I saw a hoard of high profile policemen walking past us. I could see they were important as they didn’t care much for us in the lines and whether were standing in line or someone was jumping in. A couple of more ambassadors file past us and we were sure some action was happening. Realizing all the hubbub the local constable showed up after a tea break of 4 hours and slapped his lathi-sticks on the ground, a way of letting us know who was in control of the scene.
Then a loud clunking sound, the iron gates were opening, the last time I felt this happy was when I was going to see my first and last ever first day-first show at a cinema. A sense of accomplishment washed the faces of quite a few folks standing in those lines. I quickly surveyed the line and I could easily understand 4 languages and recognize that 7 of them were being spoken at the same time. Then a big Matador white van pulled very close to the gates, a pretty young woman with a very resplendent smile disembarked, quickly a few folks around me recognized her as the local news reporter of a popular channel, she had a couple of cameramen with her and she headed right to us. She dressed up her eyebrows, checked whether the mirror was showing an acceptable image then went to her black purse and rubbed some waxy item on her pursed lips.
She was now ready, and the shocking question was asked ‘How do you feel’ Dude: ‘Great, we have never been a part of something like this before’ Her: ‘You Sir, what do you expect; Dude2: ‘Hopefully they catch my face on camera, I have waited 4 hours’ Her: ‘And you’ Me: ‘Well, for one I hope they are all honest and don’t take this personally, we want answers and this is the first time a forum like this has been provided’ Her: ‘ There you have it folks, we are about to witness this event live in another 45 minutes, keep your remote away and your eyeballs on the channel that has the exclusive rights to a path breaking event’.
We were all ushered in, first we passed the metal detectors and then a pair of suspecting and vicious, rabid looking hounds. We were then asked to empty our pockets, our wallet, our shoes and after everything was fine we were let through the gates. The first 500 got in, quite a big arena for an event like this. I selected a spot not too off the centre or the byline but definitely a little off the imposing 5 foot speakers. As I sat down, a neatly dressed young chap spoke “You all know this will be a live event, but, in order to prevent any misuse or abuse, please write down your input and we will parse and allow based on content’. Great I thought, this was supposed to be unfettered, unfiltered and already we have a red tape. I wrote mine and gave it to the chap. He finished ‘ we will have 10% of these tonight, so don’t take it personally if you are just here to witness the event, I am sure though, your grandkids will be proud of you... when you tell them’. Great, I don’t even have a kid and this young chap is telling me how to please my grandkid.
Suddenly the AC started working in the arena, I was like ‘Oh Finally !!’ then I realized the host just walked in and that’s why. We awaited for a few more golden moments with all types of ringtones blaring our ears, finally everyone had the courtesy to switch them off. And in walked in the 3 guests L.K.Advani, ManMohan Singh and Mayawati. Suddenly, everyone rose to their feat and shouted their beloved leaders names, I was standing too and wondering the momentous nature of the event. We all finally were tired enough after the applause to sit down, the 3 guests thanked everyone profusely.
The host spoke first ‘Good Evening everyone, this event is the first ever in India, for the first time in history we have the 3 main contenders of the general election at the same podium. An event like this was not imaginable as far back as 5 years, but thanks to the power of the internet, the thirst for answers, the movement to be heard and ask questions, the election commission of India and ofcourse the Supreme Court which weighed in favorably we are about to hold this event. I first want to thank our Prime Minister Mr Singh and the two main contenders Shri Advaniji and Madam Mayawati for taking some time off their busy campaign schedule to answer a few questions for us. As you all are aware, mails went out from our TV station to randomly select this audience and thank you by the way for being here, without you nothing is possible, we ask that you check your partisanship at the door and ask constructive questions to the candidates’
‘Each question will be asked by me, we have selected 50 of them from your written questions and we will get to as many as possible. There will be a 10 minute break after the first hour of questioning and then the final 90 minutes. Among the 500 submitted, we have selected a wide range of them, covering important topics like economy, inflation, cost of living, rural living, farmer’s plight, banks, security, tax increases, transport and infrastructure. We ask that you not applaud in the middle and save it for the very end of the session’.
First question, and from our random process it goes to Ms Mayawati, ‘What steps are you proposing to combat the job losses in the tech and manufacturing industry’.
Ms Mayawati clears her throat ‘ I believe that education is a must for every American kid, we should have a diploma to complete with the Indians who are invested in earning higher degrees’.
Mr Singh ' Namaskar... i believe that the Russians have the right to decide what they want... '
Mr Advani ' Jai Hind... The IMF money is going to the wrong countries, we have to get it in the right hands'
Second question: The inflation rate is currently said to be 0.2%, however when you only consider the items that other countries account for and the basics that a common man needs.. the costs of items are high.. how do u plan to control them'
Mr Singh ' I donno, we are in talks to outsource more so that should help'
Mr Advani ' By partnering with like minded countries... we can solve all ills'
Ms Mayawati ' If we are to combat obesity we have to make some tough choices'
I was like “Whoa !! what the hell was that… ” then a thud I fell down from my couch and hit my head hard on the coffee table. I woke up dreary eyed, then I realized a rerun of ‘KingKong’ was on HBO, I had fallen asleep. I realized there was no event where we can ask the 3 main candidates competing in the general election, that was all UTOPIA, that was all too ideal, what the hell was I thinking. By the way wasn’t I watching ManUtd-Liverpool... when did I even sleep?.. Oh, well, the only bummer about that utopian world I was in… I could have just stayed there 10 more minutes to hear what they wanted to say about the Indian economy, jobs, inflation, rising cost of living… now I can only hope to be in that dream world again, as we know the real Indian politicians would not let these forums happen to them ever…. or answer the questions that people have in their minds.. thats way too ideal for them... UTOPIA imbibe me again please...
As I wait in the line that meanders around the block to the east and south and west and north, I realize I might be among the lucky ones to witness history. I have earned it though; I went to work early by 2 hours, got some time off by an hour and have been in this imposing place for quite a while. I watched the sun show its wrath for a while and then its beautiful crimson red twilight, a little over 3 hours have passed and unfortunately there were no mobile restrooms or any other respite for us in the lines. Sweat had poured through my once combed hair – and politely can now only be called a shabby mess – I was drenched in my own sweat, on my forehead and neck, some spheres of sweat running down my neck and spine. My hanky could only help me so much as its now a wet wipe, I realized I cannot beat the sun and just better enjoy the tan.
It is easy for a guy like me with normal complexion to enjoy a free tan in the sun as I got not much to lose. For a brief moment I wanted to own the local chat just off the building we were trying to enter. They were having some special business and the astute minded dude reeled in some of the cooler stuff including dahi vada, nimbhu pani, butter milk. The wait was almost over, as I saw a hoard of high profile policemen walking past us. I could see they were important as they didn’t care much for us in the lines and whether were standing in line or someone was jumping in. A couple of more ambassadors file past us and we were sure some action was happening. Realizing all the hubbub the local constable showed up after a tea break of 4 hours and slapped his lathi-sticks on the ground, a way of letting us know who was in control of the scene.
Then a loud clunking sound, the iron gates were opening, the last time I felt this happy was when I was going to see my first and last ever first day-first show at a cinema. A sense of accomplishment washed the faces of quite a few folks standing in those lines. I quickly surveyed the line and I could easily understand 4 languages and recognize that 7 of them were being spoken at the same time. Then a big Matador white van pulled very close to the gates, a pretty young woman with a very resplendent smile disembarked, quickly a few folks around me recognized her as the local news reporter of a popular channel, she had a couple of cameramen with her and she headed right to us. She dressed up her eyebrows, checked whether the mirror was showing an acceptable image then went to her black purse and rubbed some waxy item on her pursed lips.
She was now ready, and the shocking question was asked ‘How do you feel’ Dude: ‘Great, we have never been a part of something like this before’ Her: ‘You Sir, what do you expect; Dude2: ‘Hopefully they catch my face on camera, I have waited 4 hours’ Her: ‘And you’ Me: ‘Well, for one I hope they are all honest and don’t take this personally, we want answers and this is the first time a forum like this has been provided’ Her: ‘ There you have it folks, we are about to witness this event live in another 45 minutes, keep your remote away and your eyeballs on the channel that has the exclusive rights to a path breaking event’.
We were all ushered in, first we passed the metal detectors and then a pair of suspecting and vicious, rabid looking hounds. We were then asked to empty our pockets, our wallet, our shoes and after everything was fine we were let through the gates. The first 500 got in, quite a big arena for an event like this. I selected a spot not too off the centre or the byline but definitely a little off the imposing 5 foot speakers. As I sat down, a neatly dressed young chap spoke “You all know this will be a live event, but, in order to prevent any misuse or abuse, please write down your input and we will parse and allow based on content’. Great I thought, this was supposed to be unfettered, unfiltered and already we have a red tape. I wrote mine and gave it to the chap. He finished ‘ we will have 10% of these tonight, so don’t take it personally if you are just here to witness the event, I am sure though, your grandkids will be proud of you... when you tell them’. Great, I don’t even have a kid and this young chap is telling me how to please my grandkid.
Suddenly the AC started working in the arena, I was like ‘Oh Finally !!’ then I realized the host just walked in and that’s why. We awaited for a few more golden moments with all types of ringtones blaring our ears, finally everyone had the courtesy to switch them off. And in walked in the 3 guests L.K.Advani, ManMohan Singh and Mayawati. Suddenly, everyone rose to their feat and shouted their beloved leaders names, I was standing too and wondering the momentous nature of the event. We all finally were tired enough after the applause to sit down, the 3 guests thanked everyone profusely.
The host spoke first ‘Good Evening everyone, this event is the first ever in India, for the first time in history we have the 3 main contenders of the general election at the same podium. An event like this was not imaginable as far back as 5 years, but thanks to the power of the internet, the thirst for answers, the movement to be heard and ask questions, the election commission of India and ofcourse the Supreme Court which weighed in favorably we are about to hold this event. I first want to thank our Prime Minister Mr Singh and the two main contenders Shri Advaniji and Madam Mayawati for taking some time off their busy campaign schedule to answer a few questions for us. As you all are aware, mails went out from our TV station to randomly select this audience and thank you by the way for being here, without you nothing is possible, we ask that you check your partisanship at the door and ask constructive questions to the candidates’
‘Each question will be asked by me, we have selected 50 of them from your written questions and we will get to as many as possible. There will be a 10 minute break after the first hour of questioning and then the final 90 minutes. Among the 500 submitted, we have selected a wide range of them, covering important topics like economy, inflation, cost of living, rural living, farmer’s plight, banks, security, tax increases, transport and infrastructure. We ask that you not applaud in the middle and save it for the very end of the session’.
First question, and from our random process it goes to Ms Mayawati, ‘What steps are you proposing to combat the job losses in the tech and manufacturing industry’.
Ms Mayawati clears her throat ‘ I believe that education is a must for every American kid, we should have a diploma to complete with the Indians who are invested in earning higher degrees’.
Mr Singh ' Namaskar... i believe that the Russians have the right to decide what they want... '
Mr Advani ' Jai Hind... The IMF money is going to the wrong countries, we have to get it in the right hands'
Second question: The inflation rate is currently said to be 0.2%, however when you only consider the items that other countries account for and the basics that a common man needs.. the costs of items are high.. how do u plan to control them'
Mr Singh ' I donno, we are in talks to outsource more so that should help'
Mr Advani ' By partnering with like minded countries... we can solve all ills'
Ms Mayawati ' If we are to combat obesity we have to make some tough choices'
I was like “Whoa !! what the hell was that… ” then a thud I fell down from my couch and hit my head hard on the coffee table. I woke up dreary eyed, then I realized a rerun of ‘KingKong’ was on HBO, I had fallen asleep. I realized there was no event where we can ask the 3 main candidates competing in the general election, that was all UTOPIA, that was all too ideal, what the hell was I thinking. By the way wasn’t I watching ManUtd-Liverpool... when did I even sleep?.. Oh, well, the only bummer about that utopian world I was in… I could have just stayed there 10 more minutes to hear what they wanted to say about the Indian economy, jobs, inflation, rising cost of living… now I can only hope to be in that dream world again, as we know the real Indian politicians would not let these forums happen to them ever…. or answer the questions that people have in their minds.. thats way too ideal for them... UTOPIA imbibe me again please...
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Roller Coaster on April Fool's day
Manish was on the lookout, he knew what happened last year on April 1, a couple of his colleagues pulled a pretty elaborate prank on him that won the cake and the award as the most gullible man at his workplace. From the moment he woke up today ‘April 1 2009’ he mumbled under his breath ‘History won’t repeat’, they wont get to me, they cant get to me, I am not going to be fooled by anything that happens today.
Manish hits the shower, gets out of bath and to the breakfast table he goes, his wife Mini had prepared a calorie conscious breakfast, as he munched it and had the orange juice, his wife muttered ‘Don’t forget, there is a whole list of items that you need to get, my parents are coming this weekend’, Manish half-acknowledged it with a dismissive nod of his head giving the impression that CNN was more interesting right now.
Sonal, his 8 year old daughter, suddenly recalled, ‘arey mei tho bool gayi daddy’… ‘Your manager called when you were in the shower, he asked you to come in 1 hour earlier today, as there is an important meeting’. Manish queried ‘He wants me in by 8’ Sonal ‘that’s what he said’ Manish ‘great.. why don’t you tell me this when its 8:15, I got 20 minutes to get to work now’.
Manish hit the pedal on his brand new Hyundai Santro and without much regard for the traffic lights he sped through, finally on reaching the work location, he realizes his manager is not in, feeling weird he settled into his cube and awaited his manager. About 15 minutes into the waiting ordeal his manager walks in, ‘Oh great, Manish… you are in already.. I wanted to call you …’ ‘You are welcome Boss, Sonal told me you called’.. ‘Oh I didn’t call your home, I actually forgot… anyways’. The manager went on ‘Well, I have some news for you, you are going to pad up some new roles, we are giving you a promotion for the great work you did last year’ Manish ‘thanks Boss, that’s great news, I will work hard and prove you right’. Boss ‘I am sure you will Manish, you will be getting a hefty bonus as well.. so have fun young man’.
Manish walked out of the boss’s office with a smile as wide as the Sahara, unable to bottle his enthusiasm, he felt compelled to talk to everyone who he encountered on his way to the cube, everyone but Kajal his teammate who he doesn’t converse with after a falling out in one of their prior team meetings. Finally, when enough people knew about his promotion it was ‘Party… pretty please… time’. A slew of his colleagues – who didn’t need much of an excuse to have a free slice of pizza, pasta and a masala chai at the nearest joint – were treated to some high calorie, high cost stuff. When the restaurateur rang up the bill, Manish heard a pop inside of him, he assumed a couple of his arteries just burst. Treating 35 folks to a mildly costly joint would do that to you. He slid his credit card, card didn’t go through – invalid card. Manish was stunned, he was sure there were enough funds and the card was valid, he had paid the bills online last night.. then, he remembered, the plastic he was holding in his hand had an expired date, he cursed himself…. ‘I should have cut this into two, the active card is at home.. it should have been Sonal who did this, she was playing with my wallet’. Feeling embarrassed, he pulled over his closest friend and explained the situation, his friend obliged and paid the bill.
Manish, was happy, but that didn’t mean his buddy was going to keep this all quiet, his buddy dispensed to the ‘munching colleagues’… ‘Don’t ever go out with him on a treat guys. He made me pay for it!!’. It was of course a friendly ribbing and jabbing, Manish felt compelled to explain his situation and apologized, the friends will have none of it and until their masala chais went through their digestive tracts, they were not interested in moving their butts off the chairs or the topic off discussion.
As the chit-chat was proceeding, the cell rang, it was the manager, ‘Manish, come here to my office immediately, we have a problem’. Manish and friends wrapped up their session at the restaurant and Manish headed straight to the boss’s office. Sweat pouring all over his body from the midday sun, he was a ragged appearance when he walked in to meet the manager, his face blue with embarrassment with the credit card incident and with the manager now assembling him in. His boss ‘Manish, we have a problem… I believe we have to put your promotion on hold’ Manish felt a huge thud, like the ceiling just dropped on his head, the day’s events were happening too fast.
Boss: We have a sexual harassment complaint against you and we can’t promote you with that pending.
Manish: Sexual Harassment Complaint against me?
Boss: Yes !! by your teammate Kajal.
Manish: Stunned by the gravity of the accusation and the implication to his work, reputation and career ‘That’s preposterous!! I have never misbehaved with anyone in this office’
Boss: ‘We take this seriously and until we find the truth you are on suspension, leave your id card here’.
Manish, realizing he has been framed by Kajal, left the office in stunned silence, he didn’t have the guts to look up and see what his just returned colleagues were doing, he took a look at Kajal as he passed her aisle, cursed her loud, he made a big racket and the whole office was eyeing Manish, feeling embarrassed he headed straight to the exit.
Back home, Manish got a hold of Sonal and slapped her twice ‘ Stop playing with my wallet, if you ever come near my stuff again I will starve your for 5 days and why did you lie to me today morning that my boss called‘. Sonal was crushed with tears swelling in her eyes, she was too afraid to look her daddy in the eye, she ran to her room. Mini, looked at her husband perplexed, in their 10 years of marriage she had never seen him lose his cool, leave alone slap their only daughter. Filled with anger Mini left the room without speaking a word to tend to their sobbing child. Manish felt awful, he had let the anger get the better part of him, he was not ready to tell Mini all the events of the day, so in a way he liked being alone. He wanted everything to be a prank, his daughter, his wallet, his boss, the complaint…. It was April 1 afterall… he felt awful, when suddenly a splash of water hit his face, ‘Wakeup, its 730 and your boss just called, he wants you in early for a meeting’… dazed and confused he realized it was all just a dream. He will take this dream over the April pranks and the pranks over the reality. He hugged and kissed the two women that mattered to him and got ready for a busy April Fool’s day.
Manish hits the shower, gets out of bath and to the breakfast table he goes, his wife Mini had prepared a calorie conscious breakfast, as he munched it and had the orange juice, his wife muttered ‘Don’t forget, there is a whole list of items that you need to get, my parents are coming this weekend’, Manish half-acknowledged it with a dismissive nod of his head giving the impression that CNN was more interesting right now.
Sonal, his 8 year old daughter, suddenly recalled, ‘arey mei tho bool gayi daddy’… ‘Your manager called when you were in the shower, he asked you to come in 1 hour earlier today, as there is an important meeting’. Manish queried ‘He wants me in by 8’ Sonal ‘that’s what he said’ Manish ‘great.. why don’t you tell me this when its 8:15, I got 20 minutes to get to work now’.
Manish hit the pedal on his brand new Hyundai Santro and without much regard for the traffic lights he sped through, finally on reaching the work location, he realizes his manager is not in, feeling weird he settled into his cube and awaited his manager. About 15 minutes into the waiting ordeal his manager walks in, ‘Oh great, Manish… you are in already.. I wanted to call you …’ ‘You are welcome Boss, Sonal told me you called’.. ‘Oh I didn’t call your home, I actually forgot… anyways’. The manager went on ‘Well, I have some news for you, you are going to pad up some new roles, we are giving you a promotion for the great work you did last year’ Manish ‘thanks Boss, that’s great news, I will work hard and prove you right’. Boss ‘I am sure you will Manish, you will be getting a hefty bonus as well.. so have fun young man’.
Manish walked out of the boss’s office with a smile as wide as the Sahara, unable to bottle his enthusiasm, he felt compelled to talk to everyone who he encountered on his way to the cube, everyone but Kajal his teammate who he doesn’t converse with after a falling out in one of their prior team meetings. Finally, when enough people knew about his promotion it was ‘Party… pretty please… time’. A slew of his colleagues – who didn’t need much of an excuse to have a free slice of pizza, pasta and a masala chai at the nearest joint – were treated to some high calorie, high cost stuff. When the restaurateur rang up the bill, Manish heard a pop inside of him, he assumed a couple of his arteries just burst. Treating 35 folks to a mildly costly joint would do that to you. He slid his credit card, card didn’t go through – invalid card. Manish was stunned, he was sure there were enough funds and the card was valid, he had paid the bills online last night.. then, he remembered, the plastic he was holding in his hand had an expired date, he cursed himself…. ‘I should have cut this into two, the active card is at home.. it should have been Sonal who did this, she was playing with my wallet’. Feeling embarrassed, he pulled over his closest friend and explained the situation, his friend obliged and paid the bill.
Manish, was happy, but that didn’t mean his buddy was going to keep this all quiet, his buddy dispensed to the ‘munching colleagues’… ‘Don’t ever go out with him on a treat guys. He made me pay for it!!’. It was of course a friendly ribbing and jabbing, Manish felt compelled to explain his situation and apologized, the friends will have none of it and until their masala chais went through their digestive tracts, they were not interested in moving their butts off the chairs or the topic off discussion.
As the chit-chat was proceeding, the cell rang, it was the manager, ‘Manish, come here to my office immediately, we have a problem’. Manish and friends wrapped up their session at the restaurant and Manish headed straight to the boss’s office. Sweat pouring all over his body from the midday sun, he was a ragged appearance when he walked in to meet the manager, his face blue with embarrassment with the credit card incident and with the manager now assembling him in. His boss ‘Manish, we have a problem… I believe we have to put your promotion on hold’ Manish felt a huge thud, like the ceiling just dropped on his head, the day’s events were happening too fast.
Boss: We have a sexual harassment complaint against you and we can’t promote you with that pending.
Manish: Sexual Harassment Complaint against me?
Boss: Yes !! by your teammate Kajal.
Manish: Stunned by the gravity of the accusation and the implication to his work, reputation and career ‘That’s preposterous!! I have never misbehaved with anyone in this office’
Boss: ‘We take this seriously and until we find the truth you are on suspension, leave your id card here’.
Manish, realizing he has been framed by Kajal, left the office in stunned silence, he didn’t have the guts to look up and see what his just returned colleagues were doing, he took a look at Kajal as he passed her aisle, cursed her loud, he made a big racket and the whole office was eyeing Manish, feeling embarrassed he headed straight to the exit.
Back home, Manish got a hold of Sonal and slapped her twice ‘ Stop playing with my wallet, if you ever come near my stuff again I will starve your for 5 days and why did you lie to me today morning that my boss called‘. Sonal was crushed with tears swelling in her eyes, she was too afraid to look her daddy in the eye, she ran to her room. Mini, looked at her husband perplexed, in their 10 years of marriage she had never seen him lose his cool, leave alone slap their only daughter. Filled with anger Mini left the room without speaking a word to tend to their sobbing child. Manish felt awful, he had let the anger get the better part of him, he was not ready to tell Mini all the events of the day, so in a way he liked being alone. He wanted everything to be a prank, his daughter, his wallet, his boss, the complaint…. It was April 1 afterall… he felt awful, when suddenly a splash of water hit his face, ‘Wakeup, its 730 and your boss just called, he wants you in early for a meeting’… dazed and confused he realized it was all just a dream. He will take this dream over the April pranks and the pranks over the reality. He hugged and kissed the two women that mattered to him and got ready for a busy April Fool’s day.
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