Marriage: Puts the scare in me

It’s been a few years since I have been away from home. I stay alone now, living in single-rooms or in small rooms as paying guest. Being single has hell lot of advantages, starting from having no one to question you to setting your own timetable for your to-dos to deciding what to spend your time, money and effort on. Not to mention, the million girls I get to ogle at when I step outta my house.

I mean this is life at its very best, no questions!! Just go where life takes you and have fun. I can choose when to talk with my friends and when to switch off my TV to what exactly I watch on TV. I don’t need a partner or a spouse or a soul mate. I got myself and myself will take care of thee.

Well, of course at times when I do look at couples they do stir me up a bit, I scold myself “what the hell are u doing u moron, go get a partner”! Then, I drink some cool-aid.. “Really?? You really think that’s a good idea”.. Well, these are super interesting debates that my conscience goes through and that alone told me its time to look out and find a suitable partner.

So, jokingly I start a topic with my mom on my weekly calls to my parents. My mom “u know?? Ur cousin she’s having her baby next week, your uncle n aunt are gonnab grandparents”. What an opening for me! “mom, what’s the age difference between you and uncle”.. Mom “ couple” .. “Mom, u mean, you are as old as him, yet you are years away from being a grand parent?” Mom “ ha-ha, nice try I think you got time”.

Well, I was still zoomed in on this whole idea, “ there’s a time for everything and it is now”. What if my mom says “later!! buddy”, I thought maybe I should start the mental process you know, what exact qualities will make me comfortable to choose them(?) as my partner and soul-mate for life.

I am a fanatic as far as current affairs and equally fanatic about sports. Now, most guys can claim that, I think it’s a “guy’s syndrome”. Well, I do spend the better part of the daylight in front of my computer and do stuffs that are not always productive, so I think I am ripe to be updated from where the next sports tourney is happening to what Tony Blair said to Sky news.

Well, those at-least are common among people not guys alone, but I do take more pro-western or pro-american stands. From singing “God Bless America” to understanding the civics of the American fabric I think I have modeled myself into a pro-west individual. Naturally, I am interested in areas that concern the everyday American. When I scan through the list that I find intriguing, it includes the issues of abortion, gay marriage and immigration.

I tend to like people who assimilate with the surrounding, I firmly believe I do and I completely expect the same from my other half. What is a tricky area though is the issue of Gay Marriage, it does seem funny why a straight guy would consider the area of homosexuals an intriguing concept, well, I don’t like discrimination and abhor discrimination of any form – based on sex, color or sexuality – I cant stand people who discriminate others.

Among my fellow Indian folks who come here, the one thing I find exasperating and even down right filthy.. is their disdain for African-American race. Indian immigrants stamp these people as notorious, bad criminals. I have lot more black friends than Caucasian and I love them for what they are. This looks silly, but I find this among many Indians, they just don’t respect the black people. I hate that.

Then comes my sports fetish, I just can’t miss games or not watch captivating events, I mean I love baseball for the way the game is. I for some reason love baseball more than cricket. I have always been a soccer fanatic, so my interests are varied and deep, I expect this interest in my partner, as that would really give us a comfort level.

Then the concept of religion, I think I myself have a very complex attitude towards religion. I view religion as more of a guide, a set of rules so to speak to suggest and cultivate good thoughts and actions. Nothing more. I don’t think I get too fanatical about religion, but I am proud of my heritage and when someone attacks my base I get riled.

So I paused, I am a religion-loving conservative that doesn’t always go to temples or believe GOD is a person and I also support homosexuals and believe they have the right to marriage. I am captivated by sports as much as by women and love to ogle. Well, honestly I donn’o how guys stop ogling once they are married. That alone is an achievement.

I do find the level of interest I have for some areas in life -- that others consider mundane or unimportant – to be a lot important to me. As much as I am an Indian I am also an American and I have habits and actions that are a healthy cocktail that I love drinking and being me everytime.

I hardly imagine I can be as rigid with some of these aspects I think I always will be, if in fact I have any thoughts of being in a married life. I guess - my mom was right - I have lot of time. I guess, there is a reason guys are single at my age and continue to be until tour parents decide “its time”. Playfully or not I am not going to ask my mom and dad that question again, for what is a simple concept “marriage” involves complex issues that am not yet willing to explore.

Right now, I think maybe never. Viva la single life.