Monday, July 24, 2006

Teacher Ms Thomas, thank you, oh beautiful one!!

Yo.. I still remember the first hint of adolescent insanity, us.. the students of grade(class) TEN were longing for the next class. It was after all the Physics class; it was currently after all the Math class.

The difference ?? – You ask – is monumental, it’s the difference between spinach and caramel, headache pill and ice cream. It was Ms Princy Thomas and Mr Xavier.

At age 16 would you rather have a beautiful – even Angel-like- one Ms Thomas teach you or Mr Xavier?? Well, is it even close?? Well was it even a contest. Sorry Mr Xavier we are guys after all.

TTRRRRRIIINNNG TTRRRIINNGG..

God damn Yes.. Holy golden goose Yes.. My mother India Yes.. It was the long awaited bell.. The BELL…. The heavens have heard us, the GODS have heard us, there is good on this earth, there is a SUPERPOWER after all, it hears us afterall!! There is justice afterall, there is good in life afterall, there is an Angel after all..

Life is good, GOD is great, I love spinach and I like homework, I like authority and I love to sleep by 10 pm, I wont play and I will study.. YES.. vows taken, rewards EARNED, here it comes…

Out goes Mr. Xavier and in comes Ms Thomas.

Now, if we at 16 and 17 were smart enough to know we were doing a not-so-recommended routine.. I Believe our Ms Thomas knew it.. I mean, how could have she not known.

She is like the perfect class TEN teacher.. Good enough to teach you Physics and well, great enough to keep knocking you in your dreams..

“How can you.. how on earth can you, are u out of your mind”.. a few pseudo-good kids would scream once in a while in your ears.. but hey, what’s rain off the back of a pitbull.. NOTHING right.. yeah who cares..??

I mean memories… are fresh.. from the time of romancing our best prospect in our class to getting your brains beat figuring the spellings of TAMIL language words.. it was a fun ride.. to put it mildly..

How I have changed.. how we have changed.. how life has changed.. how Ms Thomas has changed..

Ms Thomas was an alluring figure because of her bright face and delicious disposition, she knew what we craved for.. she knew it was immaturity, she worked us.. she is not the stereotype PLAYBOY story girl-teacher we read about. She was, a teacher, she knew that.

She also would get the best out of us, the rewards would include a 5 minute talk after class with her, how can you NOT WORK hard when you have that reward??

Coz, I did, I worked my rear off, I worked and I got rewarded, it was adolescence and she played it and she played it in away that would benefit us.

In times like the 2006 when we see reports and stories of how teachers elope or down right get privy with students, I just remember Ms Thomas.

Coz she played us too, we were adolescents too but we both were better off for it.

Thanks Ms Thomas, u r a special one.

Friday, July 21, 2006

24/7 Customer Service: A friday RUINED

Yo… Friday morning. Literally whistling and bench-warming through the work day, I get an email.. it read “ XXXCredit Card Update”

It sounded bogus from the subject itself, I looked in, it said there was an issue with my account and I need to reset the details. I put the mouse on the “supposed card link”.. it was redirecting to Me to “a German based website”.. the last time I got anywhere close to Germany was when I watched the World Cup finals..

So, I think .. I assumed fairly right when I had zero chance to get a german based card or for all of a sudden for this company to move its HeadQuarters and all business links to germany..

Some thing smelled fishy.. it was Friday after all, and I decided to call my actual card company- the single most stupidest thing I have committed all year since yesterday –

The following is a raw transcript of one of the best exchanges I had with the customer service center..

Me : “ XXXCard support.. look I got an email today, giving Me bogus info and asking Me to update my records. I think I suspect this email. But, still I want to know if you were aware of any such emails circulated or if this email was indeed sent by your company”

BPO Girl : “ yes Sir, we can do that to you”
Me : “do what”
BPO Girl : verify Sir..”
Me: “Ok”
Girl : “ Sir, I understand ur tension and ur predicament, in this time of pain I can help u with a 30 day pgm, that monitors all traffic from tomorrow for ZERO penny”

Me : “ I know about that pgm, I am not interested in it, tell me about this email”
Girl : its ZERO penny sir, ZERO penny, its no cost.
Me : "look.. i am not calling u to sign up.. i need to know if my account is alrite"
Girl : "sir.. u can sign up on 30 day trial"
Me : "look ma'm i know about ur wonderful program, i have seen it before, but just tell me if u guys sent me this email or not"

Girl : " thats why sir we have this pgm.. it will monitor from now"
Me : " what about that email.. today morning"
Girl : "this 30 day will help u'
Me : "thank you.. u were of lot of help.. brilliant"
Girl : "sir.. we have other pgms.."

Me : "u have lots of programs.. i just need information.. not programs for future”
Girl : "i understand Sir.. u r concerned"
Me : " i am very much concerned.. and u r not gettting Me my info"
Girl : " sir for that this program'
Me : " enuf with the pgm"
Me : " can u tell Me if this email is legit"
Girl : "sir.. we can help u monitor everyday"
Me : " i am notorious for not unsubscribing after 30 days and u charge Me

Girl : “dont wry sir.. if u remember and call us in 30 days.. its free"
Me : " i think i just said.. i forget those things"
Girl : "sir, its a good pgm"
Me : "indeed it is.. an excellent one.. and thats y i dont want it" "thank u so much.. for a wonderful assistance"
Girl : "sir if u want we have another pgm.. we see ur account has low balance transfer" "u can transfer to us"
Me : “ i have good cards" "everyone has good rates" "i am comfortable with what i have now" "i dont need anything else"
Girl : "sir.. this is a 2% transfer"
Me : "yes madam.. it is.. i got that", "i did not call u to sign into any of these"
Girl : "sir try 30 days"
Me : " i will call u later"
Girl : "sir u already called" "y do u want to wait on the line”
Me : "i donno.. i dont feel like signing up today"
Girl : "sir u spent 5 mins.. 2 more mins for 2 pgms"
Me : '"sounds very impressive" "and i appreciate ur help.. i will call u"
Girl : " u can call Me anytime "
Me : “ I meant I will call citibank"
Girl : “ yes Sir”

Me : "thanks"
Girl : "any thing else"
Me :"no u were wonderful and of great help" "appreciate it a lot"
Girl : "welcome sir" "if u need any other assistance or help u can goto our website or call our 24 hr assistance"

Me : " yes sounds perfect" "thanks BYE"
Me : clunk. Phone disconnected

this is not a fiction or imaginative wonder, it is a real life "you got served"..

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

High Maintenance, Low-efficiency item: Girl Friend or U

Yo.. I was thinking about getting a car. U know.. the four-wheeled wonder which drains your purse like a cat devouring milk. The surprising thing about this is we are AWARE of what this vehicle does to us financially and yet we are all too happy to get it and get drained.

Well say even if we cop the expense and get one, its very high maintenance.. it needs fuel and loads off it (psst.. I do think if someone had the brains to invent a viable non-oil based vehicle to ride, we wont even have all the dependency on the middle east, that’s a different story altogether). Bottom-line is this baby eats you up and you don’t even realize, I do realize though.. we extract some utility out of it.

My mind wandered (yeah tell me what’s new), I started thinking about other high maintenance items in life. Well, the obvious answer is your girlfriend. Man, they drain the purse and time and energy.

The last one really zaps you, coz when ur energy is outta the window that’s when the pea-brains start working in ur cerebrals under those lousy hair-style

and u assume ur speaking out loud..but not really.. “goddamn woman.. not only are my legs and arms killin me.. I missed my ballgame for ur sake and the past 5 hours running around the mall for your one pair of ear-rings and ur 3 cotton candies and 2 teddy bears .. but u never even opened the purse.. well I guess u did.. U did put the old ear-rings in there..”

Well, honest to God.. if a guy hasn’t been thru that he is blessed and living in mars.. But I hate to drool on the obvious.. so I let my mind wander a bit more.. as I wondered I realized the human body..

Man is there a more painful .. creaky.. cranky.. disobeying unit or body of work other than the flesh and mass that we tuck under our dress.. err NO..

U getup u need to brush (sometimes I wish I get my senses after I brush.. without brushing our mouth smells like it was down by the local garage all nite).. then the obvious downloading.. and then bath.. (I do know a lotta guys love to skip it.. ).. well if u r in living college hostels.. chances are u add more pile of dirt by being in those bathrooms than skipping it.. (see.. now ya know why hostel-ites love to skip bath..)

U get out of the shower…. ur stomach gives u a call.. u fill it up with milk n bread and the day starts rolling.. u travel and ur mind thinks ur stomach is hungry.. so u get the most unhealthy bag of chips available and dump it in ur mouth.. and u need NO incentive to open the mouth when ur dumping tasty-unhealthy food.. only healthy or medicinal foods are rejected by ur mouth..

The day rolls by its noon.. ur stomach calls up again( sometimes even clocks fail to work.. not ur tummy).. u fill it up with either hotel-made high transfat low energy.. sleep inducing outside food or high-colestrol.. loadsa oil.. loadsa sleep inducing home-made food..

Well the choice is ours.. and often we make the worst available.. then we roll over and get some snacks.. and that cant be real healthy.. then we get home.. and all the buncha junk we ate have all been processed and form an extra centimeter around our mid-section now.. Sometimes we guys look bigger than pregnant women..

And the funny thing is we know!! we know it’s only a fleeting thing and once we download it.. we will have the abs of every women’s delite!! funny that is a worse non-starter than anything we can cook up..

Well all this when ur body is supposedly running well.. imagine when ur creaky or cranky or down right sick.. it needs lodsa medicines, loadsa rest and loads a caring.. Of course there are those pharmacies.. which love to service ya.. err read plunder ur money.. when u are unhealthy..

I realized.. all my complaints abt my girlfriend is mute.. the worst nightmare I can conjure is taking care of my body all by myself.. I go.. "Honey.. my sweetie.. are u sure u are done shopping.. why don’t we hit the other mall and find u a pair of slip-ons and couple a more teddy bears and cotton candies.." She "Sweetie are u alrite??".. I "I better be .. coz I don wanna service my body…"

Monday, June 12, 2006

Marriage: Puts the scare in me

It’s been a few years since I have been away from home. I stay alone now, living in single-rooms or in small rooms as paying guest. Being single has hell lot of advantages, starting from having no one to question you to setting your own timetable for your to-dos to deciding what to spend your time, money and effort on. Not to mention, the million girls I get to ogle at when I step outta my house.

I mean this is life at its very best, no questions!! Just go where life takes you and have fun. I can choose when to talk with my friends and when to switch off my TV to what exactly I watch on TV. I don’t need a partner or a spouse or a soul mate. I got myself and myself will take care of thee.

Well, of course at times when I do look at couples they do stir me up a bit, I scold myself “what the hell are u doing u moron, go get a partner”! Then, I drink some cool-aid.. “Really?? You really think that’s a good idea”.. Well, these are super interesting debates that my conscience goes through and that alone told me its time to look out and find a suitable partner.

So, jokingly I start a topic with my mom on my weekly calls to my parents. My mom “u know?? Ur cousin she’s having her baby next week, your uncle n aunt are gonnab grandparents”. What an opening for me! “mom, what’s the age difference between you and uncle”.. Mom “ couple” .. “Mom, u mean, you are as old as him, yet you are years away from being a grand parent?” Mom “ ha-ha, nice try I think you got time”.

Well, I was still zoomed in on this whole idea, “ there’s a time for everything and it is now”. What if my mom says “later!! buddy”, I thought maybe I should start the mental process you know, what exact qualities will make me comfortable to choose them(?) as my partner and soul-mate for life.

I am a fanatic as far as current affairs and equally fanatic about sports. Now, most guys can claim that, I think it’s a “guy’s syndrome”. Well, I do spend the better part of the daylight in front of my computer and do stuffs that are not always productive, so I think I am ripe to be updated from where the next sports tourney is happening to what Tony Blair said to Sky news.

Well, those at-least are common among people not guys alone, but I do take more pro-western or pro-american stands. From singing “God Bless America” to understanding the civics of the American fabric I think I have modeled myself into a pro-west individual. Naturally, I am interested in areas that concern the everyday American. When I scan through the list that I find intriguing, it includes the issues of abortion, gay marriage and immigration.

I tend to like people who assimilate with the surrounding, I firmly believe I do and I completely expect the same from my other half. What is a tricky area though is the issue of Gay Marriage, it does seem funny why a straight guy would consider the area of homosexuals an intriguing concept, well, I don’t like discrimination and abhor discrimination of any form – based on sex, color or sexuality – I cant stand people who discriminate others.

Among my fellow Indian folks who come here, the one thing I find exasperating and even down right filthy.. is their disdain for African-American race. Indian immigrants stamp these people as notorious, bad criminals. I have lot more black friends than Caucasian and I love them for what they are. This looks silly, but I find this among many Indians, they just don’t respect the black people. I hate that.

Then comes my sports fetish, I just can’t miss games or not watch captivating events, I mean I love baseball for the way the game is. I for some reason love baseball more than cricket. I have always been a soccer fanatic, so my interests are varied and deep, I expect this interest in my partner, as that would really give us a comfort level.

Then the concept of religion, I think I myself have a very complex attitude towards religion. I view religion as more of a guide, a set of rules so to speak to suggest and cultivate good thoughts and actions. Nothing more. I don’t think I get too fanatical about religion, but I am proud of my heritage and when someone attacks my base I get riled.

So I paused, I am a religion-loving conservative that doesn’t always go to temples or believe GOD is a person and I also support homosexuals and believe they have the right to marriage. I am captivated by sports as much as by women and love to ogle. Well, honestly I donn’o how guys stop ogling once they are married. That alone is an achievement.

I do find the level of interest I have for some areas in life -- that others consider mundane or unimportant – to be a lot important to me. As much as I am an Indian I am also an American and I have habits and actions that are a healthy cocktail that I love drinking and being me everytime.

I hardly imagine I can be as rigid with some of these aspects I think I always will be, if in fact I have any thoughts of being in a married life. I guess - my mom was right - I have lot of time. I guess, there is a reason guys are single at my age and continue to be until tour parents decide “its time”. Playfully or not I am not going to ask my mom and dad that question again, for what is a simple concept “marriage” involves complex issues that am not yet willing to explore.

Right now, I think maybe never. Viva la single life.

Monday, April 24, 2006

Indian Parents, American Kids

Yo.. never cease to admire the slippery slope that some Indian parents find themselves in.. when they handle American born kids. At the heart of the problem.. a couple of misunderstandings, one each on the kids and parents part.

But, i am tempted to ignore the kids's misdoings only because they are young. I am more intrigued by the parents's misguided views, that baffles kids (and quasis alike).

Bottom line, parents have to not only acknowledge but understand that kids born here are more American than Indian. This fact needs to be understood, its plain and simple. I simply dont understand the whining parents go "look at my kid.. does not follow indian culture, is not patriotic about India.. blah blah"... It is perfectly right to be annoyed if kids brought up in India are like that, but kids brought up in America??.. Thats a dandy.. they dont have American passports for nothing, US is their country and West-Life is their culture.

I am not saying, we should let them run loose and be a nutjob smoking weed out of a hose, but at the same time we cannot and should not expect them to feel too intrigued by APJ Kalam (as much as we love and respect him).

Its a fine line, we cannot force Indian culture on them (that itself is a turn off for an American Kid), we should make them glean and inculcate the good of ours with the best of America's. Sometimes recognising the fact can be the difference between a great home atmosphere and ranchy one, particularly in the "metling pot" that foreign Desis find themselves in.

Recognise.. Realise.. Live.. Let Live..

Friday, April 07, 2006

Bed Bugs: Irritating and Expensive

Yo.. have u ever been afraid of a pint-sized creature, which looks like the cockroaches great grand fetus, yeah... me neither.. until one day my world (and my room) took an upside down change.. Damn.. i never like the word change when used in these kind of contexts.

Rewind.. a few months.. sleeping n dreaming about Beyonce Knowles and Preity Zinta when bam something bit me.. i curse hell.. i curse the object.. i go back to sleep.. bam another bite.. and another.. with eyes closed i hit the spot of the bite with my hand. the room started smelling.. i was irritated.. switched on the light and moved away from my comforter and looked at my leg, B-L-O-O-D.. darn.. damn.. god-atrocious my freakin blood..

i was lookin all over what the bonkers was on.. i had to look no further than 2 inches from the spot were my O positives were strewn, a pint-sized roach-like B-U-G.. i made the sound like an afro brother D-A-A-A-M-M-N.. what the heck was that.. i went back to sleep..

once in a while this happened.. and i was too happy to prove my manliness in crushing these 1mm thugs that were drinkin my blood like we drink coconut water.. but soon they were all over... like ants .. worse than ants.. like the invading Muslim Moguls.. they were all over the place..

i was freakin shocked man.. like a brother.. man.. i aint got no clue.. what the heck i am to do.. thts when my cousin drops a bomb.. these things spread faster than spilled coffee.. now my confidence that i can control these wasps-blood-sucking mini-giants was long gone..

freak.. i got scared.. what the F bomb.. if my landlord sees this and he throws me outta the house?? Jesus Colomme.. am not gonna let that happen.. so i got creative.. with the help of a mysterious powder from my office cleaning lady, so i applied them all around the door.. the one good thing (??) was these suckers never left my room.. so i was mildly happy more so because my landlord has gotta kid whos 2 years old.. i didnt want him to go through any of this crap..

but i lost the battle.. they spread man.. they freakin spread.. like all over the place.. they got to.... my boxes.. my freaking laptop motherboard.. my clothes.. my books.. they were everywhere man.. like us.. like humans.. its like my room was their freakin earth and they like humans took control of it and almost made me extinct there..

well.. the first bug freakin dared out of my room.. and my landlady saw it.. kabaaam and i was freakin hosed.. to their credit, they helped me fix this issue.. they along with me thought this freakin thing can be controlled.. alas.. even Buddha would lose his patience with them.. the bed bugs are vicious man.. like some bad alien creatures..

it was like a freakin bad episode man.. i couldnt sleep.. i could not lie down in one location for more than one hour they like form a mole hill by you and start sending worker bugs from their bunker.. it was like watching their own TROY.. crazy.. and i could not switch off the light.. freakin things have some super special antenna which on the lack of light "unleash hell" quoting Gladiator... it was my own Armageddon as far as staying in that room..

well.. finally we had to something and we got the freakin room fumigated and its goona take 2 to 3 days for me to reoccupy my own room, because its wet.. it smells like crap and u faint like a lottery winner once you enter the room..

atleast, we hope the room is cleaner and minus those invaders from Hell.. u wont believe me i have cursed them like we all curse our next door neighbour.. its that bad of an experience.. and oh by the way i have got trophies.. i mean marks from their sucking all over my body.. freakin all over like i had a bout of omophagous fetish over myself..

it was that bad.. but its almost over.. fumigation done.. hopefully i can go back n catch the hours n hours of sleep these mini-monsters took off me.. man.. but they wont go that easy wud they.. they hit a max fine on my puny purse before they were all escorted out of my little den..

Monday, March 27, 2006

Sports Lesson: Destiny Defined

Yo.. i ridicule myself and try to address my soul often times.. the subject is the fetish i have for Sports and the orgy of time i spend analysing pre..during..post game situations and matches. I think millions of guys would attest to this syndrome, the quasi-athlete as we like to believe we are, the ones who hit that ball over the fence or scores a bunch of field goals or throws 8 Touch downs.

Believe me, there is nothing more than a good night sleep laced with some dreams about how you won the championship for your club or country and how New York Times or ESPN screams you just overtook Michael Jordan and Mike Tyson for on-field immortals. I mean without battling an eye, guys would sign up to a dream with them scoring the winning goal than them scoring a different kind with Beyonce Knowles or Jen Anniston.

There is something about sports that makes men go senseless.. go angry.. become inconsolable and lose thyself in the mania. Its precisely a feeling, that transports you to Utopia.. to 3rd base.. sports is more than life.. believe me, i have read about men taking lives for these sports.

I always thought i spend way too much time on these things, but often i learn something from them.. where else can you have a practical display of what it takes to win?.. Hardwork.. Team Work.. Sacrifice.. Blood.. Spine and Salt. Thats why men love sports, it typifies what they understand life to be, a spirited battle of wits.. nuts and bolts with a cohesive team that faces pressure and outperforms thy expectations.

Once in a while, you learn some invaluable nuggets.. some gems.. heres one i learned when one coach was asked.. "your team was not supposed to win, how did you motivate them?"

the answer:

destiny is not chance.. its choice
destiny is not what you are given in life.. its what you take out of life
destiny is not luck.. it is hardwork..
destiny is not for also rans.. it is for those who ran hard


now.. if those statements are not truer abt life (not only sports) i donno what else is.. believe me, instead of the fetish in lining up to therapists and temples if we listen to these men who motivate people to work hard, you will not only learn about life and what moves people but also start implementing it..

Sports teaches one more than a game, it teaches one thy life and makes them learn about thyself!!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

The Domino Effect: Nick the Nuclear deal

Yo.. looks like President Bush has his plates full trying to convince the Congress about the importance of the Nuke Deal.. its impossible to not be biased when we get such a sweet heart deal from America.

Ofcourse America needs our help (and from the deal they give us, we are obliged to do so) but i tried to look at the nuclear deal from all views:

As an Indian: Well, Christmas (or Diwali for Hindus) came early as they say. Not only has our program been (well, sort of) legitimized (and India's non-participation in letter or spirit of NPT overlooked) but US is also going to provide solid support to our civilian needs. The giant elephant in the room, India's energy needs, will be addressed by this effort. With the growing imports in jobs and the increasing needs of our countrymen, we need every assistance we can get.

As An American: You can understand why Bush wants to do it, it (presumably) creates a new ally that can be relied upon, and in the (inevitable) event of US aligning on a different aisle from China, India is a wonderful geographical partner. But, a big one, China is not your average farmer (to cut the golden-egg laying goose, US). China has too much money to lose if it gets into a match with US and all those Chinese goods, well for a change they have to be sit in the factory.

Also, Indian energy consumption has alarmed every one, average Americans do not even know how much reserves India has. A potential fight for a depleting Mid-East oil is a bore. So, if US can help India reduce its energy requirement rate, that helps the US. The trade-off though is to bite the bullet and swallow a bitter medicine and that is America will help a country which dissed NPT and not only got away from it but also gets rewarded.

But, the bigger picture though is the potential friendship that can help in the next century when a realignment of allies happen. A democracy willing ally with the second largest populace cant hurt too bad. So, US gets back little to nothing but a "maybe" future ally. (An awful lot to give up though!!)

The Average Country: Well, these countries are caught in a hard place, they do not want anything to do with arms race or nuclear weapons, but still why is US rewarding the very country that is supposed to be punsihed under NPT? Does this mean we have to do something to prepare ourselves? Practically speaking, some of these countries are geographically liable in a global race!!

Axis of Evil: Aah, the rogue states, the told-you-so countries. This deal is the perfect example of how America favors certain countries. If India can flout NPT and get rewarded why cant we do the same, theres always China to reward us?

The Scoop: Boy, what a pickle, i just hope the US Congress blocks this.. I know it will hurt my country, but i do not want India to be rewarded for 2 decades and in the third decade the "axis of evils" start a war that ensnarles everyone with the premise that Indo-US deal broke all meaning for NPT. I just can see how much this is a fodder for the terrorist Islamists who will whip up a frenzy because a muslim country (Pakistan) was snubbed in favor of India. This has disaster written all over it, for the sake of the world and the potential arms race, lets hope they either tweak or drop this deal. As a citizen of mother earth, i just think thats the safe and secure option for all countries.

Besides, Indians are smart enough to develop these technologies themselves, it may take a few decades but it can be done. The cost of this deal is more than money, its billions of lives at stake.. Let PEACE rule.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The Exception: Indian Nuke Policy

Yo.. nothing makes me more happy than a rosy relationship between India and US. Both countries are good examples of successful democracies and are prominent role players. India has gotten to a late start in mending frosty relationships with western countries, and the cold war dynamics of earlier decades and India's love affair with Russia were bumps in the road.

President Clinton broke the ice after a frosty time following the 98' Nuclear bomb tests in Pokhran,India. Clinton, the darling of millions of Indians, both during and after his presidency, is a man much appreciated and loved -- deified --in India. Particularly, his charity work in India and other third world countries are legendary. I still recollect the Clinton craze in the early part of this decade when Bollywood cine-stars started naming their condos the "White House".

A lot has to do with the westernization of India, you find people listening to rap and hip-hop in posh cities and trying to be as American as possible. Yes, India does have an American love affair. This love affair was borne from the yearning, the younger generation has for quality life and the gap between dream and reality -- corruption and poverty and illetracy -- in India (although thanks to BPO, the urban population are getting their corns now).

Naturally when various New-Polls found President Bush as an amicable man, this was more a reflcetion of what Indians feel about America. Oggling America is now of the past, mating and dating is the new theme. The sense of confidence, bashfully and quite reflective, of Indians -- aided by -- the orgy of jobs that American firms tend to throw at hopeful graduates facilitates this unlikely romance between US and India.

Well, it is a love-affair, for only in love affairs do we make exceptions, do we ease or even lose - if worthy -- our views and perceptions and our "donts" in favor of a romantic partner or so America hopes. Love-affairs can be blissful and poisonous, can be heaven and hell -- potential partners, have to agree to disagree and hopefuly not disagree to agree.

Ironically, its the "disagree to agree" affair that China and US had that made US ditch China for a India. India, wisely, went to the beauty parlor -- manufactured nukes -- and built herself into a beauty -- with bombs -- and looked attractive enough for the US to develop a crush for India -- or so we think.

This crush -- or the necessity to show the ex (China) -- has made US bend its rules, even dance around and pardon India for conducting the nuclear tests. Even though the Nuclear Non-Proliferation treaty urges budding nation not get carried away with nuclear fission and fusion, thats exactly what India did. Like other disobedient countries India faced a "slap on the wrist" sanctions and that was rescinded by President Bush, whi had a grand idea.

With Bush calling signals, US started dating India. And now that the date is beyond "share our door-key" relationship, US bends some more to accomodate an increasingly spoiled blonde -- India.

There are two scenarios where lovers give and take, in plutonic love like the Brits have with US and the Radical Islamists have with terrorism or the mutual prom time love, where each partner gets air-time for making waves with an unlikely receptor -- a la Jenn Anniston and Brad Pitt.

From a truly selfish point, this is a sweet-heart deal for India, it gets to break the Non-Proliferation treaty, it gets to develop and test Nukes in secrecy and not get referred to International Atomic Agency and it also gets the trade embargo rescinded and finally -- for some whipped cream on your starbucks chocolate coolatta -- India gets the "knowledge" for civil usage of nuclear technology and alternate fuel.

The NPT - for starters - is what the political community calls a "carrot and stick" approach. You obey international laws you get help, you disobey international laws your funds get cut and trades stopped. A simple effective treatment that has prevented or delayed many rogue nations -- looking at you Axis of Evils -- from getting the wrong technology for the wrong use.

Now, NPT, is not only a simple law, its a fundamental agreement, something that was looked upon with respect for its effectiveness. The US for its own purpose -- of getting a balancing power to China -- is amenable to break this law as an exception.

Wow.. thats sweet if i look at it as an Indian, but makes me fear if for one fleeting minute i look at it as a citizen of the world. Now whats going to prevent some other rogue nation from pointing India as an example who broke the treaty and benefitted from it too?

The plan to avoid Nuclear explosive material from getting to the wrong person will be compromised by this ridiculous sweet heart deal that Condoleeza Rice and George Bush are polishing. What is to say India -- once attaining the high cliff of counter-Chinese ally -- will favor US always, whats to say India is not vulnerable to its brittle anti-US Communist and Left parties.

President Bush with his "one grand" plan is landing ths US in "one major pickle".

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Inspiring Writer : Dan Froomkin

Yo... every one writes and every one wants to be heard.. and ofcourse they always make sense -atleast to themselves -- and they convey the feel of the reading populace-- apparently-- perfectly.

Some like few writers cause they write what the readers like to read, some writers know the color of glasses their audience wear and tone to that taste. In today's world of "me" and "my" and "I" many dont even consider what the opposing view is.

But once in a while we get to see some real gem writers who are sincere and honest, one such guy who writes some super cool stuff is Dan Froomkin. Dan is a contributing columnist for the Harvard University puppet Niemanwatchdog. Dan also contributes to one of the most interesting columns i read everyday on WashingtonPost, the White House Briefings, a very interesting and informative column that gives you a take on everyday happenings.

Writers like Dan are pearls and rare ones too. In this world of writing "bumper sticker" headlines and empty columns, Dan stands apart!!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Danish Delight: Inclusiveness the theme of cartoons

Yo.. things are going smooth, no fresh news that really draws your attention, no not even Mr Cheney's hunting mishap... man was i relieved to see Mr Wittington (the victim of the accident) stand up and walk and talk. Now we can forget this unwanted episode and move on with some real issues that are staring this nation.

On the world front, i read an excellent column by Flemming Rose of Jyllands-Posten. Rose, the editor who commissioned the cartoons for their Danish daily, gives his REASONS for publishing those cartoons.

When i read that Washington Post column, it made sense to me, but unfortunately he may be preaching to the choi`r. The real audience who need to read his article are in the middle east, clueless what they are upto and why they are the pawns they are.

Radical Islam has no place in this world, just like Adolf Hitler had none in the earlier generation. The main reason we see these riots and kidnappings and their spin-offs are all branched from the lack of perspective that some of the middle-east governments and its citizens exhibit.

Underlining the fact that this rowdy cowards have no clue about whats going on is the fact that, the US interests and embassies getting burnt and attacked. This reeks stupidity and underscores the desperation of Muslim mullahs from the mid-east. Last i checked, these cartoons were printed in Denmark which is in Europe not North America. How this became a mid-east vs US issue is beyond me or any straight thinking induvidual.

Added to this is the forgotten fact that these cartoons were published in September 05. Why on earth this explodes in Feb 06 -- even if tempted to give credit to the fact they have a late fuse -- is not readily comprehensible. At the center of all are a pair of Imam's -- who got Danish citizenship.. but why?? -- who traveled to Mid-east and spread the cartoon.

Now, here is the discomforting fact, they have one of their own who goes about distributing -- whats technically deemed unfunny -- cartoons. And i do subscribe to the school of thought they distributed far more offenseive caricatures than that were published on the daily.

If Jyllands-Posten and its editors are under such heckling and attacks, so should the Imam's who spread the hatred.

The editor argues very well, his real intent and that was to bring to light the fact that Muslims -- the conservatives -- are bring included in the society and the society preaches the concept of maturity to handle criticism.

The funniest part of it all is the fact that those cartoons are more thought provoking than hate inducing, i have seen far more offensive material hurled against Jesus Christ and Christianity and Hinduism than what these cartoons do.

I could not believe my eyes when i was watching a news report that showed Iranian youth signing up to hurt America. Again, why exactly this is a US problem boggles me. I am certain about one thing, the religion of peace as some paint it, is far from it, that religion if anything is the factory that produces some filthy induviduals who care not for other souls and humans.

The craziest thing of all, not even a tenth of this rioting mid-easterners may have seen these cartoons, maybe if they do, they will reflect and think what all the fuss was about.. or maybe not, after all they do prefer caves than beaches and enslaving women than recognize them and corrupt the youth than let them mature.. may be the light at the end of the tunnel is too bright for them, may be like a scared beast they start running away from the light..


Friday, February 03, 2006

Hypocrites : Radical Islamists

Ok.. here i am watching a nice evening News Broadcast from BBC.. everything is the same.. Prince Harry wore a pink suit today and England Soccer coach getting duped by a fake sheikh..

Same ol England i thought.. when they got serious..

Anchor.." and now we are taking u to Denmark where the radical Muslims are reacting to Danish newspapers"..

hmm.. i thought.. do these gusy NOT fight anybody? or do these guys NOT have a problem with anybody..

apparently... some Newspapers published a photo of a holy GOD.. [ who till date no one has sighted by the way ] and apparently the radical Islamists don like it [ coz they really donno how he shud look ] and they were burning Danish flags...

got me laffing my ass off.. are these guys for real?

if they wanna hide in their wacko caves and wear tight robes and pink suits and cover their leaking egg-rolls on their noses with black veils.. am all for it u minions...

but u have no foot hole in an other nation.. where by the way democracy is followed and people can express their rights and feelings..

and then came the funniest bit.. a local IMAM.. [ now if this guy is so religious why did he flee Palestine in the first place? ]

he says " i WANT the Danish country to declare NEW laws.. u cannot insult us... u can have ur freedom but we wont tolerate this"

either he drinks waste-oil or leaks thru his nose.. heres some news Mr whatever..

U r in a different country.. they are not in ur fundamentalist country.. u FLEED ur country for greed and money and u begged "immigration" and became a "citizen" of denmark and now u want to turn around and cry foul?

the Americans are right.. Europeans are fools... they shud have never let the radicals into thier country.. Look at what France went thru bcos of another set of wackos?

Heres news to u Mr Imam.. u cannot be a hypocrite... u demand that we change Eurpoean and American rules for u freakin wackos to be accomodated..

[so that u can practice driving planes into buildings] on the same note will u demand ur COUNTRY to change laws so Iran n Iraq and oil-for-corruption regimes will accomodate Americans and Europeans... allow Gay marriage and allow our way of life in ur country?

answer that and take ur egg-roll nose to right where u came from.. Insa-allah

Saturday, January 14, 2006

ORIGIN OF SCIENCE—A MYSTERY .. by Sriram Nathan

Days are not far away, when no one will feel lonely. Robots are a mile away to be a part of your day-to-day life activity. Technologies are burgeoning exponentially. One can travel from Chicago to Mumbai in an hour, like going in a metro (house in mumbai and work in Chicago). All these are possible in a few decades. A look back at where did science begin, does not give a solid answer.

Assumptions are a part of scientific findings Science and Math are interrelated. Scientists have assumed for convenience and have given solutions. Laws and Axioms are findings, which restrict the freedom of more findings with limitations. Aryabatta (great mathematician) assumed that, a stone as 1 and two stones as 2 and so on. How has this mathematical simplicity led to a ramification of scientific innovations. Everything in this world is going under assumption. New year eve, Languages we speak, currency we use, and so on. No one has found an answer why we exist, why are you doing a thing at some particular time, why am I typing this at this moment and so on.

Man’s destiny is unknown, so is the origin. Even though there has been failures in findings, how has man’s inventions derived a conclusion. Does this prove the existence of God. Is he helping us to derive a solution. All religions say “ Service to mankind” is the meaning for the existence of mankind. Science is doing it. So, does it suggest that Science’s destiny would be God? Whatever is the origin of science, let destiny bring more answers, of course with more assumptions. We will not fail.

Friday, January 13, 2006

NFL.. Playoffs

Yo.. smell it.. come on i can smell it?.. Its playoffs.. the wild-card weekend is done and now comes the most exciting 4 weeks in the Football Calendar.

The 4th of course is the superbowl, for which America pauses and rejoices.

I love NFL, nothing like it, many people get turned off by the smash mouth hits and the never-ending stoppages, not me.. for 4 quarters i see chess minds at work, i see powerful men showing their ability, i see wily coaches foxing out victories and i see incapable refrees blow calls like they are blowing into a balloon.

I love the Indianapolis Colts.. Peyton Manning, their steward and captain and symbol of class will lead ths team to victory come Febuary, i am salivating for the moment when all commentators start throwing deserved praises against the greates athelete in this game right now.

Go Peyton.. Go Colts.. Go Indy.. Its our Time and its NOW!!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Price of $$ Dollar Menu

Yo.. " Paba pappap pan.. am luvin it.. " the most famous hum in television networks these days.

"Its a Dollar people.. and you get your stomach full".. true to word McDonald's offers some tempting stuffs, no wonder they have lasted this long.

Even though many McDonald apers have come and gone, some still stay. The single most laziness inducing industry is the Fastfood industry.

Am not blaming all hotels and restaurants, they make stuffs that are good and also difficult ot make at home, they are here to stay with reason.

But all this Fast-food mania, that sweeps the nation, drive thoughs and what-nots, with Burgers and Whoppers and Quarter-pound meals and what-nots for 99cents. They stuff you up right.. but the problem is just that, the dont use ingredients of highest-quality.

Trans-fat and what not has made the Americans baloon and their girths are bigger. Obesity and over-weight kids are there to be seen everywhere, its the habit of eating-out.. that people mistake to be cool and people mistake to be as healthy as home-cooked food thats fueling this growth of girth.

No rocket science.. but as people stuff themselves with low-quality, high-cholestrol, high-calorie, high-fat.. with trans-fat food, they inject more harmful material to their body than any other source.

Eating out is a slow poison, doing it everyday is a fad for some, most dont care to exercise it off, all the unhealthy byproducts get accumulated all over the body and people become unfit, unfit people become lazy, lay people eat more, eating more without physical work makes them fat, as they get fatter, they tend to not move, as they are non-movable, they become couch-potatoes, as they sit on the couch watching NFL, they binge n hog..

this cycle is never-ending, until it ends all. No surprises when reports show child-obesity and heart-diseases increasing. All those 99cent meals make our body unhealthy and over course of time, people have to check themselves into hospitals and weight programs. How costly is that?

When a good exercise routine would prevent all these, do we want to hurt our body and wallet?

Its our duty to take care of ourselves, taking care of one's body is not a hobby or extra activity, it should be as involuntary as breathing itself.

Lets get out exercise, reduce that belly, reduce blood sugar, reduce high blood pressure and keep off those pounds of fat.

Lets take care of ourselves, frankly.. not doing so is a sin and a crime.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Coffee -- my changing taste

Wow.. here i am standing in a line.. for my morning coffee at a pretty decent coffeshop. As the line was unusually big today (hush.. generally it means i woke up late and the cascading effect is standing in such a big line)..

anyways.. this gave me the chance to mentally chose the type of coffee i wanted to have.. let me go with half & half and 1 sugar i thought.. nah... milk and 1 sugar.. ok decided..

the line was darn long.. gave me the excuse to think about the days .. when i was home with my parents and my mom made her signature coffee..

our style of coffee is very removed from the American coffee.. back home.. we had coffee with lots of milk and 2 or 3 sugars.. the best part of our home-made coffee is.. the strength of the coffee.. for a few ml of it we get such a great aroma and such darkness that its imperative we add a good amount of milk.

here sometimes when standing in Starbucks and ordering the supposedly Dark Espresso.. you can find many immigrants .. smiling wryly.. with a "what?.. dark ?.. this..? huh.. ok!!" look..

infact when i got my first American Coffee, i sweared to God.. i wil never insult my taste bud and consume another coffee like this.. no matter the cost.. no matter the effort.. i will drink the normal coffee..

but.. aah.. that feels so long back.. coz.. i love the American coffee.. believe it or not.. i sometimes have it without milk.. that was unimaginable not long back..

but truth be told.. its not a total surprise i like the American coffee now.. because i am more used to it.. more used to its texture, flavor and the tinge it leaves on the tongue.. i like that.

infact.. funny but true.. last weekend i made my original normal coffee.. to reminisce the old times i guess.. and i swear i made a good one.. but somehow my tongue disagreed..

where is the tinge .. where is the subtle darkness in the coffee.. why is it milky.. my taste-buds killed me with these questions..

i think i was amused to say the least.. my taste has gotten programmed to the American Coffee..

contrary to what people say its not aping Americans.. its merely following and appreciating what feels good..

with time and the mentality to appreciate other tastes i slowly appreciate the beauty of the other coffee.. which is my normal coffee now..


there is a lesson in this.. when you goto a new place.. never ever curse how that place or culture looks abnormal because you dont follow it.. be with an open mind and before long.. you will realise and appreciate the novelty of the other world..

aah.. time to order my coffee.. dark with half & half and 1 sugar please!!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Cell Phones.. Blah Blah Blah

Yo.. was heading home.. thoughts running/planning for what was left of the day.. hmm "gonna have fun, have a light dinner .. watch some comedy... not on FOX ofcourse.. listen to some light music and for total fun listen to Michael Kay blabber some junk on talk radio. listen to some light music and hit the sack"

great everything planned.. so here goes the implementation.. leave office, catch the subway, i like the subway.. no Not because Mayor Bloomberg goes through the same contaminated and smelly cars.. but because nobody's cell phones work on them!!

what a relief to be on a subway, i mean why cant people talk softly over the phone. Like i wanted to hear whether her dog had pooed in her neighbour's lawn and how they didnt pick it up. and that was fun as hell !!

subway is a blissful curse, u sit through shit but you dont hear no nonsense!!

aah.. but you can only be so lucky, for i am not yet so rich to stay in the Urban city, so i hop out of the smelly subway car to a higher-priced (no other option) train that takes me to my home. This train is thankfully well maintained but alas.. the cell phones work.

i mean which is the worser curse, the subway smell or the working cell phone ..

no brainer.. the working cell phone.. when people chit-chat and blabber stuffs that they wont normally talk if it werent for the free mobile-to-mobile minutes, you know how technology is misused.

For its my understanding cell phone is a tool used when necessary and its needed to be. You dont have to discuss how your neighbour's daughter is a lesbian or how your husband can motor on in such an old-age in the... public, yet not, comforts of a train.

The damn you. i dont give a rat about what you think of what i talk is apalling. cell phones are the single most abused device, i would prefer a measure on not using cell phones on public vehicle using a jammer. Unless ofcourse if its 911. All others can wait to get down from the car.. Leave others alone..

As such i have so much crammed in my brain, the last information i want to learn is about your diet schedule or how you love your girlfriend!!

Smell of New Year

Aah New Year.. dont we love it.. i mean L-O-V-E it. There is something alluring every year, when the calendar flips over. Hope and Excitement, though we have been through this cycle before, every new year brings something new and positive (we hope).

We want to believe that we will wash away our debts in Lottery and we will hit the Sports Clubs to run-off the winter belly. We believe that abstaining from having donuts for a week will reduce our blood sugar and being nice to our neigbour on new year day will wash away the curse we exchanged during our kids soccer practice.

Its the belief that wanes every late fall and ironically gathers steam in the peak of winter during the first day of a brand new year. I have grown to like this flipping every year, i mean what an excuse to forget some of our less inspiring habits.

We can always say, hey come on " i was like that last year.. not anymore".. forgetting barely 15 minutes had elapsed from the old year.

Its an excuse to come clean for few people, its an excuse to reform and an excuse to forget the sufferings. Its an opportunity to look at the future, to build on our dreams to chase and achieve.

The hope that mushrooms from the calendar flip is one of the amazing man-made creations.

I mean, we should all be happy and thank the guy who found about the earth's rotation and implemented it into our life with a calendar flip.

Consider how boring it will be, if today was Day #1002345 with no site of a brand new Day #1, consider how we cant say " honey, i promise i change this habit next year... sweetheart.. i will quit smoking next year"... instead we have to say "honey, i will get you the ring on Day #1230456".. how boring only geeks and Mathematicians would love that world.

I love it, the hope that springs eternal with every flip is a chance to tell ourselves, that we can do better in the new year.

Can you smell success? can you feel the warmth and hope? wel come '06 we have been waiting for you for sometime now..

Happy New Year!!